January 8th, 2005

Current Music: dontcha wish your girlfriend Subject: WHAT UP Time: 11:36 pm Current Mood: crazy

AT THE LUKE-MYSTER hizouse. lol.

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December 5th, 2004

Subject: a kid again... Time: 04:23 pm Current Mood: crushed

Again I am soo pissed and this will not be read. i dont care. I am going through some shit and i need to do so alone. but i am soo mad and I could not even explain to you why, I could try but it wouldnt make sense. But i feel like everything that I have is being taken away from me and I dont like it. I just wish I had everyone i loved around me saying i love you and evrythign will be all right. I wish that I could back to being a kid with everyone there. no one had left for the military or left to go live in texas and left...well i dont wanna say. but everything i held dear to me when i was a child is kind of gone. i always said that i would never wanna be a child again becuase of the innocence and stupidness but for now i am taking that back. i wanna be a kid so that i could feel safe in my paretns arms, to feel safe with my brothers. To sit around to celebrate my birthday with family and watch the snow fall to the ground. i wish that i could just be a kid and start my life over again, there are so many things that i wuold do differently. Man, I just wish...

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December 4th, 2004

Time: 10:04 pm Current Mood: pissed off

I am SO mad at you. You have screwed up this time and I am sorry for what I did but I had to. I just want you to get better. So yea. You'll find out soon enough. But I am SOOO mad at you right now. SO I hope you are having a fucking awesome time hangin out tonight becuase I dont how much longer it will last. I love you and I always will but in order to help you yo have to be willing to help yourslef. I know that you'll never read this but I am writin it anyway beach.

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November 17th, 2004

Current Music: Todd talking Subject: Drugs Time: 02:14 pm Current Mood: I'm a geek.

I am in Psychology, well no thats a lie, I am in the library (NOT LIBARY) for psychology. We are lookibng up drugs. We have to write a two page paper on a drug, like only one. There are soooo many drugs out there how can you possibly choose one. It like one in a lot. just Kidding. How would I know. I really wouldnt I am a good girl. And for those who know me what do I always say about good girls...who are they really? Lol. Anywoo. Again, I am in the library and I was chillin with Monica til she evr so rudely left me, thats right MON MON you lefteded me. Humph. Just kidding. I wuv ya. I hope that you hvae fun on your vacation this summer to Quebec to see all the hot French (and Canadian) people, and have loads and loads of Champagne. HAHA! I crack myself up, but seriously have fun and stay safe. Hehe. You are tanding in front of Christine right now going Gosh knows what. Guys I am doing the blood drive. And most of you would be like wow good job, way to show the love... (Show the love...guve bllod: thats the slogan) but again, for those who know me know how old I am. Apparently they do not check so I my birthday is November 22nd, 2004. And then will I be 17. I am celebrating my birthday on the 26th though, becuase I thought that would be fun, to go shopping and to celebrate it over a Latte or something. Lol. Well bye, school is coming to a close and I must go, I grow tired of this thing. I wonder who will read this.....hm....(Ponders) whatever. Bye.

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November 14th, 2004

Time: 09:20 am

like that chrissy?

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November 13th, 2004

Current Music: Singing My song Time: 04:56 pm Current Mood: I LEARNED TO USE A PIC

I am using a christin picture, and i finally learned how to put a picture in, although it aint very clear, it'll do for now. I love christina.

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November 9th, 2004

Current Music: Redneck Woman!!! Time: 09:17 pm Current Mood: HEHE... oh the possibilties

Well, I ain't never been the Barbie doll type No, I can't swig that sweet Champagne, I'd rather drink beer all night In a tavern or in a honky tonk or on a four-wheel drive tailgate I've got posters on my wall of Skynyrd, Kid and Strait Some people look down on me, but I don't give a rip I'll stand barefooted in my own front yard with a baby on my hip 'cause I'm a redneck woman I ain't no high class broad I'm just a product of my raising I say, 'hey ya'll' and 'yee-haw' And I keep my Christmas lights on On my front porch all year long And I know all the words to every Charlie Daniels song So here's to all my sisters out there keeping it country Let me get a big 'hell yeah' from the redneck girls like me, hell yeah Victoria's Secret, well their stuff's real nice But I can buy the same damn thing on a Wal-Mart shelf half price And still look sexy, just as sexy as those models on TV I don't need no designer tag to make my man want me Well, you might think I'm trashy, a little too hardcore But in my neck of the woods I'm just the girl next door I'm a redneck woman I ain't no high class broad I'm just a product of my raising I say, 'hey y'all' and 'yee-haw' And I keep my Christmas lights on On my front porch all year long And I know all the words to every Tanya Tucker song So here's to all my sisters out there keeping it country Let me get a big 'hell yeah' from the redneck girls like me, hell yeah I'm a redneck woman I ain't no high class broad I'm just a product of my raising I say, 'hey y'all' and 'yee-haw' And I keep my Christmas lights on On my front porch all year long And I know all the words to every ol' Bocephus song So here's to all my sisters out there keeping it country Let me get a big 'hell yeah' from the redneck girls like me, hell yeah Hell yeah, hell yeah Hell yeah I said hell yeah! -AND- It was just an old worn out Jeep Rusty old floorboard, hot on my feet A young girl two hands on the wheel I can't replace the way it made me feel And he'd say, "turn it left and steer it right, Straighten up girl, you're doing just fine" Just a little valley by the river where we'd ride But I was high on a mountain When daddy let me drive It's just an old plywood boat With a '75 Johnson with electric choke (except mines a saturn... from pluto...)

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November 6th, 2004

Current Music: My thoughts Subject: ... Time: 10:14 pm Current Mood: alone

alone. angry. tired. weak. confused. incompetent. ALONE. Sorry Frankie I am not what you think I am.

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November 4th, 2004

Current Music: Avril Time: 07:56 pm Current Mood: BLAH

I thought this was funny.... its a sign that we've been playin God and God's mad about it. Now he's playin God and he's much better at it

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November 3rd, 2004

Current Music: Chrissy talking to her hubby Subject: math Time: 06:35 pm Current Mood: DONE WITH MATH....ACCOMPLISHED

I just studied for math, strike that, i did math homework therefore studying. I have never studiedfor a math test in my life. LOL.

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November 1st, 2004

Current Music: Hands Time: 08:23 pm Current Mood: contemplative

If I could tell the world just one thing It would be that we're all ok And not to worry because worry is wasteful and useless in times like these I will not be made useless I won't be idled with despair I will gather myself around my faith for light does the darkness most fear My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken Poverty stole your golden shoes but it didn't steal your laughter And heartache came to visit me but i knew it wasn't ever after We will fight, not out of spite for someone must stand up for what's right cause where there's a man who has no voice there ours shall go singing In the end only kindness matters In the end only kindness matters I will get down on my knees and I will pray I will get down on my knees and I will pray I will get down on my knees and I will pray

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October 27th, 2004

Subject: College Time: 10:49 am

i have learned that i would like to atend St. Mary's. I do not know why but I do. But I m aplying t othe places. I aso really like UC IRVINE.

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October 15th, 2004

Subject: School Time: 03:51 pm

Places I am thinking about... -Cal Poly -CSU Channel Islands -CSU Fullerton (maybe) -CSU Long Beach (maybe) -CSU Monterey Bay -CSU Sacramento (maybe) -CSU Stanislaus -San Diego State University -San Jose State University (doubtful) - CHABOT I am not applying to all of these places. But I still have Ucs to decide on.

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October 10th, 2004

Current Music: Nothing.... Expect my thoughts... Subject: Luke 15 11-31 Time: 09:34 pm Current Mood: depressed

And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf. This is how I feel. I feel great.

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October 7th, 2004

Current Music: Lindsay Lohan (Got a problem with that?? WHAT?!?! ) Subject: Spear Britney!! Time: 07:22 pm Current Mood: SPEAR BRITNEY

http://channels.netscape.com/ns/celebrity/becksmith.jsp?floc=ce-main-1-l1&p=138 Omg. I love this, it is soooo funny. A few of my favorite quotes from this... "I don't think she's trying to change her image. I just think she's a dumb person and not a particularly mature person, who is a child of show business who's been given license to play in the big sandbox and do whatever she wants. Unless she gains some maturity, she'll wind up forgotten like many others before her." "This is her moment. And the world is watching every move she makes. She may remind us of someone we've seen coming out of a gas station bathroom, barefoot. But yes, we're interested." "She's acting like the 'Girl Out of Control.' She's in need of a spanking," he says, half-joking, "but the spanking may be about 12 years too late." "Her recent songs have sucked," one industryite says bluntly. "Clearly, it's not about the music any more and it hasn't been for years. It's time to refocus on the music." "But when you keep jerking the public's chain - married, not married, married -- it inevitably turns against you. People go from caring, to not giving a damn, to actively wishing you ill will. It's time to stop selling wolf tickets to the public and the press, Britney. Otherwise you'll find yourself just like that unfortunate boy who cried wolf one too many times...all alone -- just you and the wolf." Hehe... On a lighter less funnt topic, well I think it was funny. But have you ever noticed that in old old movies like 1940s and such the people, when they kiss, they like try to eat each others face. Geez. It like... I love you... I have only known you for a week but i want to marry you... I love you....*kiss that looks like the impact from the knocking lips hurt but you keep trying to eat each others faces.* Seriously go rent an old movie, I just saw A Gentlemens Agreement, and it was good, but yea they try to eat faces. Cannibalist. So sad. "Im walkin on sunshine...WOAAAHHH....It doesnt feel good."

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October 2nd, 2004

Current Music: Ryan Cabrera Subject: Can you beat a ghost? Time: 04:36 pm Current Mood: crappy

Is this really a victory. Is it really over? Will we ever win...? Terrorism will never be over, there are always more sadaams and bin laden, always more dictators. So how are we to win? If asomeone can answer me that...you'll rock forever. http://cnn.aimtoday.cnn.com/news/enhancedstory.jsp?maxphotos=4&phototerm=Iraq&idq=/ff/story/0001%2F20041002%2F1447839290.htm&sc=1107&photoid=20041002BAG124&floc=NW_1-T

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September 17th, 2004

Current Music: Broken Subject: Previous Post Time: 10:44 pm Current Mood: disappointed

There is another post in between 4:15p.m. and now. If you want to see it reply to this post. And I will let you but for now only friends only, which are only few but I dont want this entry all public and stuff. So if you check my journal then you'll know, I am not going to mention this to you. Well, maybe but more than likely not. You actually have reply, but if it isnt worth it then dont. lol. I am not forcing you to... Lol. Have a nice day. Ciao for now.

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Current Music: Headstrong Subject: Pain Time: 04:15 pm Current Mood: confused

Pain is your friend, your ally, it will tell you when you are seriously injured, it will keep you awake and angry, and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home. But you know the best thing about pain? You like pissed off? Watch this.... Watch me...

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September 16th, 2004

Current Music: Jared fake laughing Subject: I am soooo bored Time: 02:00 pm Current Mood: Creative

I am sooo bored. Katie if you read this today I want you to know that I am sad that you stayed home. So is everyone else that was at school toda, which was like everyone. Anywoo. I hope you feel better, I hope you dont feel sick anymore. Um... The math test isnt that hard, There are two versions so dont try and cheat5, even though I know that you wont I am just giving you a heads up. Ok? Haha. like Katie would cheat. I think if you did you get so guilty that you might say something. i love you. Have a good day and I hope you feel better.

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September 15th, 2004

Current Music: Evanescence Subject: Pissed the fuck off. Time: 09:25 pm Current Mood: pissed off

I dont even know why the fuck I have this damn journal.

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